NPR Radio Personalities
I'd truely like to believe that the people behind the voices at NPR are honest to god radio personalities, and not some Clear Channel auto-DJs broadcasting out of Tampa. It's really what I'm thinking about every time they mention that the last broadcast was brought to you by the Chubb Group. So, this is what I imagine them to be like in real life (all apologies to any and all NPR employees):
Susan Stamberg: A sort of hippie journalist. Works for a lot of non-profits. Owns lots of tote bags.
Linda Wertheimer: Pearls, feathered hair, and a house full of antiques. She has a set routine every time she comes into the studio and supposedly fired an intern for breaking her regular coffee cup.
David Brancaccio: Dresses in dark suits, imagines himself to be a continuation of the great radio anouncers of the fifties. Maybe looks like Gregory Peck in certain ways. Talks in that voice all the time, not just a put-on. (i.e. Phil hartman in Talk Radio or that guy from Murphy Brown)
Corey Flintoff: Younger, more excitable version of the above. Yuppie-ish in certain ways (i.e. drinks a lot of white wine), doesn't tuck in his shirt when he plays with his kids on the weekends. Still pines for the days of hands-on journalism, risking his neck in Angola to get that story on the '72 uprising.
—September 1st, 2003
Archives
- The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
- Fun With Google Voice Transcripts
- Begging the Question
- The Hitchhikers Guide to Unseemly Video Arcades
- A Self-Replicating Treasure Trove of Oddities
- Taking This Writing-Programming Thing Too Far
- Socialism American-Style and Post-Modern Industrialization
- My First Taste of Unbridled Nerd Wrath
- Uncategorized Concepts
- The Never-Ending Pixelated Vision Quest
- A Cynic's Home Companion
- The Over-Quantified Self
- The Unspoken Truth About Programming
- Sleepwalking in the Insanitorium
- Rules For Radicals
- An Alternate Guide to the Nation's Capitol (part I)
- In the Void of Radio
- What is a Depression Hug?
- Street Algorithms
- Damn, This is Pussy Fever
- Un Bon Petit Diable
- The Microbe Song
- In the Days of Ambergris
- Armchair Leftist Options
- Art Film Continuity Errors
- Overly-Friendly Cashier Obviously the Manager
- The Last Frontier
- The Originality-Turing Test
- Renewing the Social Contract
- Paradox of Talent
- The King of Mumblecore
- Quality Filtration
- The Purposeless-Driven Site
- Intervention Story
- Frenchetarianism
- New Trends in +50s Housing
- Distributed Social Networking Schema
- Interactive Time Consumption
- How Clean Was My Alley
- Nanowash
- Abusing the Lexicon
- Sinusoidal Agnosticism
- Coincidental Freebasing
- Brian Eno's Obsolete Strategies
- Magic Rock
- Lamentations of Viral Marketing
- DIY Aesthetic Pyramid Schemes
- Confluence of Aphorisms
- Last Ditch Comic Book Adaptations
- Most Popular Serial Killer Names
- Logical Punctuation Rules II
- Logical Punctuation Rules
- Mexican Reference Stand-Off
- True Mind Hacks
- Unique Naming
- Social Equivalence Security Regulation via Name Dropping
- Miscellaneous Conspiracy Theories
- Prefabricated McNugget Shapes
- Life in Bill Gates's House
- Psychoanalysis of Common TV/Movie Scripts
- Strangely Ignored Signs of the Apocalypse
- New Urban Legend
- The Seven Wonders of the Postmodern World
- Overly-Emphatic Newspaper Headline Verbs
- How to Dehumidify D.C.
- The Different Types of Internet Writing
- New Versions of Dungeons & Dragons
- Non-Fictional Storytelling
- Punchlines Without Jokes For Modern Times
- Worst Trick Endings
- Improvements to Underground Railroads
- "Reviews of This Book" Sample Reviews
- LSD Adventures of Note
- New Synonyms for Fetish Maneuvers or Ethnic Varieties of Everyday Things
- Critical Analysis
- Theme Restaurants
- Unaired Night Gallery Episodes
- Concept Bands
- $5 Product Ideas
- Useless Political Terminology
- How to Gentrify a Neighborhood
- New World Order: The Board Game!
- NPR Radio Personalities
- I Blame Society: College Essays I Have Written